First Day Of The First Grade

So my guys started grade one today and I'm feeling a little sad.  

If you'd asked me how I was going to feel about today over the summer, I would have said very excited, looking forward to time to myself, getting things done, get these noisy kids out of my hair, etc, etc.  I'd also tell you that the boys being in full days wasn't that big a deal because, although SK was only half days, they'd done full days at their first school for JK.  No problemo.  If you'd asked Owen how he was going to feel about today he would have immediately gone pale, his eyes would have reddened and he would have said not good, I don't want to go, full days are too long, I'm scared of the big kids.  William would have said I'm looking forward to seeing my friends again, what are you packing for snack? 

This morning, they both continued to say much the same thing and although I was smiling on the outside, I think the stressed out child that Owen has become in the week leading up to this first day has taken its toll and I was feeling quite heavy hearted.  Actually, I think I've been feeling that way all weekend, but trying not to show it to the kids.  I didn't need to add to Owen's emotions, that's for sure.  When I went grocery shopping on Sunday to get all the lunch-making things I would need for this week, I suddenly felt quite overwhelmed that the boys would be gone all day.  I had to take a moment to gather myself.  I felt a little silly feeling so dramatic in the cereal aisle, I must admit, but I did a little nod of the head to myself to acknowledge how I was feeling and then moved on to the dairy section.  And then last night, once the kids were fast asleep (the boys were cuddled up close to each other in their sleep, little blond heads touching, it was very sweet), I lay awake for ages, worrying over everything and nothing and trying to plan the best way to deal with Owen in the morning, knowing he was sure to cry.  I thought about how little they really are as well as how big they've become.  Basically, I stewed in my motherly sadness and didn't fall asleep for ages. 

But back to this morning.  We were all organised and ready to go on time, thank goodness.  Mark came with us too, which was great, because we needed him once we got to school.  Before leaving, I took the customary first day photos, along with the first day sibling hug!

 Matching toothless smiles...

 

For those of you who aren't sure, that's William with the blue backpack and Owen with the green. 

 

 Elly decides to get in on some of this hugging action

Drop off was a little crazy in the schoolyard and Owen pretty much started crying two minutes after we got there.  He cried on and off for the duration.  I got lots of sympathetic looks from other parents, but I was quite surprised not to see anyone else crying.  A few pale faces, but no other tears.   Mark took Elly and Will and realised we were all supposed to be in another section of the schoolyard, so we all wandered over there and saw the teachers names taped to the side of the school so we could form lines.  The boys are once again in separate classes, as per our request, so I had Mark stand two rows over with William whilst I stood trying to be a calming presence for Owen in his line.  I hugged him every now and then and explained that it was loud and disorganised today because it was the first day and even the teachers were trying to figure it all out, but it didn't seem to help much.  

Finally, after much waiting, the school bell rang and each class was led in one by one by their teachers.  Except Owen's class because his teacher wasn't there.  I'm not sure where he was exactly, but thankfully the wonderful, amazing principal, Mr K was there and he started to lead Owen's group in.  Owen completely broke down as he saw the kids in front of him walking away, and I hugged him again and gently pushed him along, saying "You have to go, Owen, its okay, I'll see you at the end of the day." To his credit, he did start walking, but he was really upset at this point.  And that is when Mr. K looked up, saw his tears and said, "Hey buddy, you come with me, you'll be my special helper."  I could have kissed the man as he took Owen's hand and brought him to the front of the line.  And in Owen went.  Whewf.  I breathed a huge, heavy sigh as I watched him go in, knowing he was so sad and that I wouldn't be able to help him through it for the rest of the day.  

I turned to William's line and saw him looking a little pale still, but pretty much his usual self.  I smiled and pointed out his lovely looking young teacher and gave him a final hug before he went on his way.  Funny how they're so different.  

Just as I was turning to go to my car, I saw the Principal come back out to the yard and went up to him.  "That was my little blond crying guy you helped into school this morning," I said, "Thank you so much, that meant a lot to me for you to take his hand when I couldn't."  He smiled and told me that as they walked in, he'd said to Owen "Its okay, I cried twice this morning!" and Owen looked up at him in amazement and said 'You did?!" Mr K told me Owen had calmed down once they got through the doors and gave me a reassuring pat.  Thank goodness for the ones that care.

So after that, nothing left for Elly-belly and I to do but go off on our own little adventure to the mall (okay, okay, I bought myself some makeup to make me feel better.  Yes, I am that shallow) and Costco and then come home to eat lunch and wait until we can go pick our favorite Grade Ones up from school.  Sigh.

Is it time yet?

Sigh.  

Why is it so quiet in here?!

I miss my noisy kids.  

Sigh.

How about now?