6:03am - second small boy enters room, demands to know why brother is in HIS spot. Loud verbal exchange between small boys, ensued by growling from mother. Cue extra small girl, who has been thus far asleep on my head, to start crying.
6:15am - no longer able to ignore Elly's frantic hand signals and whining, I stumble down to the kitchen and get her a bottle of milk. Hand it over to Mark, along with two small bowls of dry cheerios to be scattered about the bed by the boys rather than ingested as recommended by nutritionists and parents alike.
6:17am - hop into shower. Ahhhhh, alone time. No one to bother me for a whole three minu- "yes, you can come in to pee, Owen. Wash your hands. I said, wash your hands!"
6:30am - dressed for the day, hair still wet. Dash out the door to move the cars out of the driveway and onto the street to make room for stone and wood chips delivery, expected anytime between 7am and 1pm.
6:38am - take sobbing Elly from daddy's arms. Apparently mummy dashing out with car keys is not what she wanted to see first thing in the morning. Get kids cereal on the table, mix up a batch of muffins & shove them in the oven, eat some toast, check news on laptop.
7:10am - change Elly's very stinky diaper, let her play with bathroom cupboards as I dry my hair. "careful, sweetie, don't trap your fing-ooooh! Ouch! You're okay, you're okay, its okay...sigh."
7:30 - take muffins out of oven to cool. Back upstairs to brush teeth and floss really, really well.
7:38 - distract Elly with Daddy's toast, slip out the front door.
8:06am - lie back in dentist chair with bizarre and rather claustrophobia-inducing tarp contraption attached to my mouth, try to ignore signs of imminent panic attack as dentist drills out four cavities on right side of mouth. Wonder what would happen if I suddenly started flailing my arms and legs about like a maniac. Decide against it and stare up at overhead light and note interesting frog-like patterns until heart stops pounding.
9:20am - arrive home with sore jaw and right side of face prickling as numbing wears off. Mutter to myself about dentist's heavy-handedness. Swear never to eat chocolate again if that will mean no more fillings. Rejoice that Mark managed to put Elly down for her nap and that boys are playing quietly. Hear dump truck arriving with stone and say silent prayer that it doesn't wake Her Ladyship up. Eat a chocolate easter egg.
10:00am - make a pitcher of Jamie Oliver's mint strawberry slushie and another of lemonade for Mark, Jon and Paul who are working in backyard to get playstructure finished. They have several tonnes of drainage stone and mulch to move from the driveway to the backyard, so anything I can do to make their work easier, ie nice drinks and muffins, kids out of the way, etc, I will do.
10:40 - dress Elly for the day, get boys into hats, coats, shoes, gather essential items for swimming lesson, locate snack, cell phone, car keys and anything else I can carry in one hand whilst balancing Elly on the other side. Get everyone in the car and over to the park.
11:00am - meet Amber, Abby and Caleb in the park near the pool. Attempt (and ultimately fail) to keep Elly from eating the sand in the sandbox. Soak up the sunshine and chat with my bud as the kids play (fairly) nicely together.
11:45am - hustle my kids over to the pool. Lose one of Elly's adorable new rainboots in the process. Call Amber and ask if she can look to see if its in the park. Get boys changed and out to the pool with only slightly raised voice.
12:16pm - wrangle Elly on my lap and attempt to stop her from chucking her soother repeatedly onto the dirty floor. Eventually give up and pocket it, only to have her slap me for my temerity at ending her game. Cheer as Will and Owen swim by themselves for the first time.
12:31pm - attempt to assist boys in getting dried off in cramped changeroom, with wriggly baby who wants dirty soother from my pocket and/or to get down onto wet floor and wallow in the filth. Somehow manage to contain her and get boys dressed without crying or yelling. Hate this part of swmming lessons.
12:45pm - lost boot is next to our car! Hurray! Drive home happy that adorable boot is not lost forever. Consider various ways to keep it on daughter's foot in the future. Duct tape? Elastics? Staples?
1:00pm - wow, majorly impressed with worker guys (aka Jon, Paul and Mark) and how much they've accomplished since we left. Reward them with hot dogs, beer and potato chips. Send them back out to do more work.
1:40pm - boys off to play with their buddy Wyatt, so house is quiet for Elly's nap. Wish I could crawl in with her. Instead, make coffee for
2:00pm - drive over to nursery to pick more landscaping fabric for Mark. Crank radio loud and enjoy being in the car on my own for a change.
2:30pm - Note that Mark has put ladder up on playstructure. Hesitate for about one minute before climbing up and going down the slide. Weeeeeeeee!
3:30pm - El wakes up from nice nap (hurray!) and we join the boys at Wyatt's house. Chat with his lovely mother Deitre as boys sword fight around us and Elly tries to decide if she likes or is afraid of their dog.
4:30pm - call Mark to see if its okay for us to come home and play in the backyard. It is and he says the playstructure is kid-ready so we all head over. Much, much happiness on the part of small boys ensues.
6:10pm - make curry and rice for dinner, keep Elly happy by plonking her in high chair and playing sesame street videos on laptop for her. Remember how not so long ago I did the same thing for the boys.
6:30pm - sit down to eat as a family. Breathe a sigh of relief when both boys tell me "Dis is delicious, mummy! Can we have dis every night?" Since dinner-acceptance from the kids is always such a crapshoot, any form of praise and/or eating of food is wonderful. Any utterance of "vomitrocious" is not.
7:15pm - bedtime routine. Wonder yet again why it has to involve so much coercion each night. Is it really that awful to get jammies on and brush teeth? Give Elly her bottle in her room to the sound of Mark reading bedtime stories to her brothers down the hall.
7:45pm - creep down the stairs so as not to wake three snoring kids.
8:30pm - exhausted. Reading in bed.
8:45pm - in Elly's room, shushing her back to sleep.
9:30pm - lights out. So tired. Looking forward to sleep.
11:30pm - in Elly's room, shushing her back to sleep.
2:00am - in Elly's room, shushing her back to sleep.
2:35am - in Elly's room, shushing her back to - oh forget it, you can come into our bed, you little tyrrant.
6:05am - small boy awakens me with nudge in the ribs, asks if he can come into bed. Blearily glance at time, mumble acquiescence.
Oh... love this post. I relate on so many different levels, especially the part about hating the dentist and pathetically vowing to never eat chocolate again, only to cave hours later. You are such a clever writer and gave me a good chuckle. Motherhood...It's chaos at times, but really... would we want it any different... well perhaps a bit more sleep!
ReplyDeleteOh man, so good and so wrong at the same time! I SO relate to the early morning frustrations! But I must say, the play structure HAS to be a highlight. I mean, that thing is going to provide MINUTES of independent playtime for the boys. SO FUN!
ReplyDeleteI loved to read this. You go girl! Love the slide.
ReplyDeleteExcellent: both funny and heart-breakingly realistic!! Arg!: when will the infernal cycle ever end?? Will we ever get a break?? :)
ReplyDeleteI relate to none of this, and can sit back and mentally cackle. "I told you, mwhahahaaaa".
ReplyDeleteSeriously impressed though (as always) both in what you have to do in a day, and how much I like reading these posts :)
What a super trooper! Thanks for the insight into your life. I think I am now firmly resolved never to have a family. It sounds like waaaay too much hard work :-) xxx
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